Ranking 7 Fast Food Chocolate Milkshakes From Worst To Best

It doesn't matter what time of the year it is; milkshakes are a treat worthy of year-round consumption. Thick, creamy, and sugary to boot, what's not to love? Make them chocolate (everyone's favorite flavor), and they only get tastier. Do the ones sold at fast food joints live up to these lofty expectations, though? I, for one, sure wanted to know, so I went on a mission to try as many as I could find in my neighborhood. As it turns out, this meant I got to taste and evaluate seven different fast food chocolate shakes. Yummy! Or was it?

After sampling seven popular fast food restaurants' chocolate shakes, I ranked them so I could let you know what's up. I'll get into the specifics of my methodology at the end, but for now, you should know that my criteria were largely based on taste, potency of flavor, perceived quality, and price. While none of them are bad enough to make you instantly regret your order, there are a few that gave me some buyer's remorse. Keep those notes in mind the next time you decide to go out for a sweet treat.

There's no other way to say this, but A&W's chocolate milkshake is the worst. Sorry, not sorry. Not only is it on the pricier side of things — I paid $5.93 with tax — but it is seriously lacking in the texture department. Honestly, I had an inkling this would be the case before I even got a taste. I'm not kidding: The moment it was passed through the drive-thru window to me, I knew it would be a dud based on appearance alone. Unfortunately, my suspicions were right on the money.

My honest opinion? A&W's chocolate milkshake is mostly vanilla with a negligible amount of chocolate sauce swirled in. Calling chocolate ... are you there? No answer, huh? Sure, it was creamy and decently thick, but it was kind of lame overall. I know Canadians love their A&W a bit more than we do here in the States, but the chocolate milkshake alone is enough to make me wonder why I ever thought a company known for its root beer could live up to my milkshake standards. I recommend steering clear of it entirely. I may not have loved all of the shakes yet to come (no spoilers), but suffice it to say that I'd drive out of the way to get one from anywhere other than A&W — like far out of the way. Next!

As a fast food joint, Smashburger is famous for its, well, smash burgers. The fries aren't bad either, but sadly, the same can't be said about the chocolate milkshake. In fact, I thought it put up a pretty poor showing. Not only was the chocolate flavor lacking, but the texture also left something to be desired.

For starters, Smashburger's chocolate shake could have benefited from way more chocolate. I know I'm one of those people who revel in what some may call an overwhelming amount of rich, chocolatey flavors. Still, I imagine anyone would be disappointed by its absence in this shake. Additionally, the texture of the shake didn't hold up for very long. It started off creamy and thick enough to give me problems pulling it through an oversized straw, but the texture didn't last. Unfortunately, it separated quite fast, and what I got after about 30 minutes was more like a watered-down version of its true self. No, thanks!

Smashburger's chocolate shake almost scored fifth place. However, as the second most expensive shake I tried on my taste-testing adventure — it ran me $7.01 after tax — I'd be remiss if I didn't knock it back in the ranking by at least one spot. So alas, sixth place is where it lands. Luckily, there are many better, cheaper options to be had, like the ones coming up. Go for one of them instead.

From here on out, my list takes a turn for the better. Don't get too excited, though. It isn't by much. Still, Chick-fil-A's chocolate milkshake was noticeably tastier and better textured than the two fast food shakes we have already covered. Even so, if the fact that it was the third cheapest milkshake I tried is one of the nicest things I can say about it, that's not a good sign. Just so you know, it wasn't exceptionally affordable, either. It cost me $5.61, and Wendy's and McDonald's shakes (both of which rank higher) come in way under $5. Just saying.

With Chick-fil-A's chocolate milkshake, I once again found myself wondering where the chocolate was. It certainly had more of the chocolatey goodness than A&W's offering, but the quantity in it was somewhat abysmal. Plus, it was not nearly as thick as many of the other shakes I tasted. Even fresh from the drive-thru window, my Chick-fil-A shake was already starting to melt. Granted, the drive-thru line was fairly long when I visited, but I was not impressed. Add to that the general lack of chocolate, and it's a wonder it didn't come in second-to-last place. The only reason it didn't is that Smashburger's was so darn expensive. Chick-fil-A may be one of the fast food establishments with the best service, but the chocolate shake leaves a lot to be desired. Oh well.

Wendy's chocolate Frosty is where my list takes another turn for the better. Again, it isn't a huge jump regarding the presence of chocolate or overall quality, but it sure has a lot more going for it than everything that ranked lower. After all, it is a classic fast food shake for a reason. It just so happens that it was the least expensive shake I tasted as well. A small one only cost me $2.69, and that included tax. Score!

The best part about Wendy's Frostys is the extra-thick, creamy texture, and that goes for any of the flavors. As it turns out, that's only vanilla and whatever seasonal flavors are passing through, but still. Wendy's has the texture of its milkshakes down pat. As for chocolate, though, it still wasn't enough to make a girl like me happy, that's for sure.

For a quick upgrade, you could always make your Frosty better by dipping french fries in it (if you know, you know). Or, you could go for an old-school hack and turn it into a float. Long story short, though, it won't bowl you over with an abundance of chocolatey goodness, and that made me feel pretty meh about it. I know that sentiment is bound to ruffle some feathers, but what can I say? I've had way better chocolate shakes. Three of which are coming up, and regarding the amount of the namesake flavor, they beat the crap out of Wendy's chocolate Frosty.

McDonald's chocolate milkshake was tricky to acquire (more on that in a bit), but when it came to flavor and texture, it hit the spot. Surprisingly, I might add. I'm not the biggest fan of McDonald's food in general, but the milkshake might just be the best thing on the menu. Even for someone like me who loves extra chocolate, it didn't skimp on the good stuff. The quality wasn't quite as good as the shakes that earned the top two spots on this list, but the flavors were nothing to scoff at. Oh yeah, and it only cost me $4.31 as well, making it one of the cheapest shakes I tried. Winning!

McDonald's chocolate milkshake may have earned a spot higher than the bottom half of my ranking, but if I were basing it on convenience alone, it would be in last place. Why, you ask? Well, I had to go to not one, not two, not three, but four different locations to find a spot that actually had a functioning ice cream machine. It's like a bad joke, and it isn't even a new one. I started to feel like I was in a meme by the end of it. Regardless, I pushed through and made it happen. As for the shake itself, though, it was super chocolatey, rich, and thick, so it was more than deserving of a third-place ranking. Convenience be darned.

Coming in second place is none other than Five Guys' chocolate shake, and you know what? When it comes to fast food shakes as a whole, it's miles ahead of most of the competition. It is extra thick, as a quality shake should be, and it holds its texture for a considerable amount of time. After a few sips, I could tell that it was made with higher-quality ingredients as well, and that's something we can all get behind. Best of all, it also had tons more chocolate than the six lower-ranking shakes I sampled. Since chocolate is the name of the game, it more than earned the second-place spot in my ranking.

After everything was said and done, i.e., tip (yes, tipping is a thing there) and tax, my Five Guys milkshake cost $7.93. That makes it the priciest fast food shake I tried by a long shot. I guess that isn't too surprising since Five Guys is known for being more expensive than other fast food joints, but still, it stung a little. Even so, its noticeable boost in quality and the sheer fact that it had significantly more chocolate than everything that ranked lower was enough for me to overlook the relatively high cost. There's still one shake to come that I enjoyed even more, but you sure could do a lot worse than Five Guys the next time a hankering for a chocolate shake strikes.

It's finally time for the number one pick, and for me, it could only be Good Times' chocolate milkshake. It nailed texture, quality, and chocolate expectations, and it did it with style. As you'd expect from a shake that earned number one bragging rights, the chocolate shake from Good Times is decadently thick and hard to pull with a straw for quite some time, so make sure to get a spoon. It also tastes richer and has a good amount of chocolate. Could I have used more? Yes, but I'm insatiable with the ingredient. I imagine most people will find the amount of chocolate more than sufficient, and even I thought it was freaking tasty. So, if you're looking for a top-tier fast food chocolate shake — which, obviously, you are — look no further than Good Times.

The only flaw to Good Times' chocolate milkshake is that it is on the pricier side. I spent $6.25 for a small one. Still, when you're after the best around, you should expect to pay a bit more. Yes, even when it comes to fast food. There's also an argument that could be made about how it's cheating since the company makes its shakes with frozen custard and not ice cream. Translation: The recipe includes egg yolks that make it richer in flavor. I couldn't care less, though. It is a milkshake, plain and simple, so all hail Good Times — it has the fast food milkshake game on lock!

When I heard someone was needed to taste and rank fast food chocolate milkshakes, I knew I had to volunteer. I mean, I'm a self-proclaimed chocolate fanatic and proud of it. So yeah, sign me up. After driving around to fetch all seven of the milkshakes you find above — which, thanks to McDonald's, made the task trickier than anticipated — I let the taste-testing games begin. 

After trying all seven milkshakes listed above, I ranked them based on taste, chocolate potency, perceived quality, and price. Unfortunately, I found there were quite a few duds. That's okay, though. Fast food serves a purpose, and it isn't doling out the best goods around. It is all about convenience, and the shakes I tried definitely deliver in that department. Even so, I recommend you stick to my top four. They are the most chocolatey, tasted higher quality, and had the best, thickest textures. Also, and this is important: Don't even consider stopping into Smashburger, or worse yet, A&W to satisfy a chocolate shake craving. If you do, you'll be in for a major letdown.