What makes one reach for Fiji Water over the Poland Springs or Crystal Geysers of the world, other than pretty tropical packaging? Does the word “artisanal” really up the value of products like water, and do fancy waters merit outrageous price tags along with their own sommeliers?
In a satirical short film, “water maker” brothers Bill and Terry Timmy — played to outrageous effect by Mike Mergo and Jamie Effros — try to sell us on the idea of Bespoke Water, their take on the artisanal stuff. They sniff and taste their products with their superior palates and weird mouth noises and create different varieties of the beverage. Batch #1402, for example, is derived from a mix of the waters of the Mississippi River, Lake Pontchartrain and the East River. Please sign us up for a bottle of the brown Gowanus water — it looks especially refreshing.
Filmmaker Paul Riccio tells NPR that he had had enough of the “artisanal food movement” and had to poke fun at it. He also reveals that he was inspired by director Christopher Guest of Waiting for Guffman and This Is Spinal Tap fame.
The Timmy brothers also point out that since they source their water from lakes and rivers from all over the country, it’s like traveling without the carbon footprint. At the end of the day, water is about freedom, according to the brothers. In today’s artisanal anything–inclined world, it’s almost believable that this video is real. In any regard, it’s pure comedic gold. Check out what the brothers have to say about wetness and more below.