Alton Brown's Marker Hack To Safely Cut A Mango

You don't expect instructional cooking videos to come with a warning. Alton Brown's "How to Slice a Mango" YouTube video starts with a disclaimer about disturbing scenes, and viewer discretion is advised. What actually takes place is a funny, fake-blood-filled lesson on how to safely cut a mango. In his wry and witty fashion, Alton proceeds to chop off a (plastic) finger and lose a lot of (fake) blood, as he demonstrates three methods for slicing mangos. He shares what, according to him, are two bad examples, and one good — the marker hack.

He poses the question of which is easier to handle, "the mango or an over-caffeinated weasel with rabies?" We're not sold on his claim that the mango is the more vicious adversary, but hyperbole aside, he's not wrong. Mangos can be a bummer to cut because their delectable, juicy goodness is right under the skin, so when peeled, the wet fruit is hard to get a grip on. To solve this slippery problem, Brown draws circles on either side of the mango to peel around, creating built-in grips that can save you a trip to the ER and get you one step closer to your mangonada.

Besides the marker, you'll also need a thin, sharp boning knife and a vegetable peeler. Rinse the mango, as you should never cut into unwashed fruit. On the mango's fleshy, wide sides, use the marker to draw a 1" circle at the center of each cheek. Use the peeler to remove all the skin except from the circled areas. 

Next, cut a small slice from the bottom (the side without the stem), making a flat surface for the mango to stand on. Grip the peel circles on either side, then carefully move the knife under your hand and slice down one side at an arc around the seed. Leave the piece in place to still use its grip and repeat on the other side. Remove the peel circles from each fillet of mango, then use the fruit as desired.

The first brilliant thing about Alton's mango hack is that the makeshift grips really do work, and the other clever part of this technique is slicing off the bottom so the mango can stand without wobbling. This works for cutting all kinds of tricky fruits, too.

As for the methods Alton rejected, we agree that "the peel method" is a bad example. Just peel the mango and try to hold on to its slick surface while slicing it — this part of the video involves lots of pretend-blood splattering — a metaphor for the inherent dangers of improper mango cutting. Although, aside from the grips in his marker hack, this one isn't much different.

The other disapproved-of method is what he calls "the grid system." Here, the mango remains unpeeled and both sides are cut off around the pit. Then, you hold the mango in your palm and cut intersecting lines across it — while avoiding cutting yourself. Cut to the video, where more fake-blood splashing ensues.

Opinions differ, but we think that the grid system is by far the best way to peel and eat a mango. It is the easiest, fastest, and safest hack, the main reason being that you don't have to peel anything. All it takes to get perfectly diced mango cubes is to cut crisscross lines into the fruit, then scoop them out of the peel with a spoon. As to Alton's allegations that this is unsafe due to holding the mango in your palm, simply place it down on a cutting board before slicing, and danger is averted.