There’s nothing like a magnificent Amazon Prime deal to boost your spirits and, with a little luck, get you righteously schwasted. Now, we can probably all agree that a beer bong, whether formal or improvised, is generally not part of your standard holiday shindig. Champagne, however, is a great way to instantly up one’s blood alcohol level and fancitude all at the same time. If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing fast and loose, so the good people at Chambong produced a lovely, blown-glass means of delivering champagne directly down your gullet.
These delicate form-meets-function champagne flutes are on sale for nearly half off, with guaranteed delivery before Christmas and superb reviews, so hop on that. A few remarks from satisfied customers:
“Champagne? Nah I ran 18 Bud Lights through this fine tuned, artisanally crafted alcohol bonging device. Whilst on my roof. All and all, if you’re trying to get riggity wrecked with the most class as possible, this is just for you.”
“It’s a must for every under-achieving alcoholic college senior.”
“Wow. Most savage gift ever. I got these for a friend and the grin on her face was like a kid opening a power ranger toy on Christmas Day in 1993.”
“If you don’t want to bong champagne all night, it fits about half a beer.”
“One of the greatest things I’ve ever put in my mouth!”
Remember: The less time you waste on drinking, the more time you can spend making a scene over the fact that you ended up with a bottle of cupcake-flavored vodka from that rousing game of White Elephant. But waaait a second…what if you put the cupcake vodka IN the Chambong! And so on and so forth.