It’s all fun and games until you find out your vinegar isn’t what you thought it was and there’s not a funnel cake to be found for miles. But it’s okay. Eco-friendly wine is available, and so are ice cream cone–gifting cops. All this and more in today’s roundup:

There’s something fishy about this vinegar

Fish and chips just aren’t right without malt vinegar. Or are they? The Guardian reports that the vinegar served at British fish and chip shops is actually water, ethanoic acid, color and flavor rather than real malt vinegar that is brewed from alcohol. And it’s been happening for decades. This information recently came to light after it was the subject of a YouTube video. There are some upsides to this non-vinegar, however. Because it’s not brewed from alcohol and doesn’t contain malted grains, it’s halal and gluten-free, which means more people are able to enjoy that tangy goodness.

It’s not a festival without funnel cake, right?

Music festivals, with their fashionably vast food lineups these days, aren’t just about the music anymore. With the many options available at Lollapalooza, Firefly, Outside Lands and others, it seems like one standard festival food item is missing from Chicago’s three music fests: the funnel cake. Chicagoist associate editor Mae Rice wrote a plea to organizers of these festivals asking to be served a “GODDAMN FUNNEL CAKE” (her words, not ours). Apparently, the woven basket of fried dough topped with sugar isn’t good enough to be associated with fancy fare from the likes of Momofuku Milk Bar.

Easy as pizza pie

Have you had enough with the cooking demo videos? Not until you’ve laid your eyes on this one. In a parody pizza how-to, the Hydraulic Press Channel (a YouTube channel dedicated to smashing things into oblivion with a hydraulic press) made a ham pie with its favorite tool. The channel’s operators even included a quick hack if you don’t have time to cook the pizza in an oven.

The greenest wine is made in Napa Valley

Napa Valley cabernet maker Silver Oak’s Oakville winery has earned a LEED Platinum certification, making it the first production winery to do so. The 7,000-square-foot building was burned down in a fire in 2006 and rebuilt soon after, but it wasn’t in the plans to aim for the Platinum certification until 2013. Silver Oak’s newest winery, in Sonoma County, will also be designed to LEED Platinum standards and is slated to open before the 2017 harvest, according to Wine Spectator.

The best warning ever

Here’s your ice cream week bonus. When you’re pulled over by a cop, the last thing you’d expect is that officer to hand you an ice cream cone. ABC reports that in a viral video, an officer is shown questioning a very nervous driver who later bursts into relieved laughter when the officer hands the driver and passenger a cone, saying it’s “illegal to drive on a hot day without an ice cream cone.” Wouldn’t the world be a nicer, stickier place if this sort of police action were more common?