If there’s one drawback to my cooking, it’s that I use a lot of equipment. All my mise en place goes into separate little bowls, and I’ll subconsciously do my best to use all the pots and pans. Whatever. I don’t mind the cleanup, and you won’t be saying anything once that food gets in your mouth. The point here is that some people who have this same affliction might have concerned loved ones who want to help them out. Meet: the Masterpan.
This cast-aluminum beast has five separate compartments, so you can cook different things at the same time without them contaminating each other. We all know that moment when we feel like LL Cool J in Toys. What? You don’t know what I’m talking about?
“I can’t even eat. The food keeps touching. I like military plates, I’m a military man, I want a military meal. I want my string beans to be quarantined! I like a little fortress around my mashed potatoes so the meatloaf doesn’t invade my mashed potatoes and cause mixing in my plate! I HATE IT when food touches!”
Yeah, you’ve felt that way. It’s okay to admit it. It makes you normal. But that same concept extends to things on the stove, in many cases. (Exception: Try cooking eggs in bacon fat after you’re done cooking bacon. They’ll be a little bit pink-brown, but they’ll be DELICIOUS.) And it’s not necessarily that you don’t want your food to touch, like Mr. Cool J in Toys, but trying to cook eggs and breakfast potatoes in the same pan is a recipe for some sort of weird eggy-potatoey hash, not “eggs and potatoes.” You feel me? So for those out there with my severe multi-pan-orosis, now there’s the option to just make a mess in one big compartmentalized pan instead of multiple pans. And if you know someone with severe multi-pan-orosis, this would be the perfect gift.