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You find the darndest things on the internet when you're looking for bacon sushi. Here I am thinking I'll add some bacon to my weird, deformed maki I keep thinking I'll get better at making for some reason, and this gem pops up. And you don't even find out until halfway through that it's not only bacon. It's prosciutto, too.

Yes, I was trying to add bacon to sushi. I was in a particular state of mind, and I was also trying to stretch the fact that I didn't have enough yellowtail left over for a whole sushi roll. Have I mentioned that my sushi is exceptionally ugly? Like, ugly enough to scare the snow away? Regardless, Sushi Pig is one of the rare "crazy idea" recipes out there you can actually pull off that will actually translate into something extremely delicious, even if it's so unattractive it could make an onion cry. Plus there's a comment thread, which as everyone knows answers all possible questions.

Here's how you do it:

Fold crumbled bacon into sushi rice, layer with prosciutto, add cream cheese, honeycrisp apple and smoked ham, roll up with a sushi mat, slice and serve with what appears to be mayo, but at that point of porkitude I honestly might just mix a little miso, soy sauce and rice vinegar into honey mustard and dip this loud bastard into that.

Important disclaimer: if you show up to the office tomorrow, which is Valentine's Day, sporting a tray of these pups and not something dumb like cookies with pink and red M&Ms, you will win Valentine's Day.

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