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Herney ferney börk, everyone! We follow Swedish Chef news very closely, including revealing his true ethnicity to a devastated world. But don't let that sway you from believing he could best Gordon Ramsay in a Top Chef-like competition with his Scandinavian food cart, Børk Børk Førk. I won't give away who wins, but you can bet your ass Ramsay verbally abuses a massive hairy ogre and some food explodes.

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