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I was on the fence about dating the dude who took this picture until he whipped it out. The photo. That's right, he has commitment phobia too. You see, when you bite into a burrito — or rather, two or three bites deep — you're down for the count. You can't put that thing aside for a second, you have to hold it, not take breaks, make sure everything's nice and squared away, not do anything else. If you don't give it your all, stuff'll fall out of the front and gravity pulling down on the filling could cause a stress tear in the tortilla. And THEN what? More relationship-burrito comparisons is what (and that is not a roundabout way of expressing my feelings).

It's because we shared this crucial ideology that I took his very simple solution as a sign. Or at least an indication of similar values. Plus, not even kidding, he went to Harvard. So…yeah, he probably knows what he's doing. But I can't help but suspect this hack was born out of a lack of clean plates.

You'll need a glass that will work for the size of your burrito. Maybe it's a Chipotle-hacked burrito, speaking of which, Chipotle fans might get to finally turn to that huge beer stein your girlfriend says you never use and super-wants to throw away. Boom, burrito holder biatch! Sorry, I don't know what's come over me. Begin consuming your burrito, and you know what? When you need two hands to open another beer, change the channel without getting guac all over the buttons again or Gchat at a respectable speed, drop it into the glass and do your thing. The most successful people are multitaskers.

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