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Over here at Ad Snacking HQ, we’ve been tracking Twitter trends, stalking Instagram feeds and scouring internet database search terms as we try to ascertain what flavors the Lay’s marketing team would select as their new flavor. The call went out to America to create a chip flavor and Lay’s narrowed it down to three finalists: Chicken and Waffles, Sriracha, and Cheesy Garlic Bread. In small towns all across America, quickie marts will be flooded with these newfangled chip flavors. Communities may be shocked by just how wild the youth may become when offered these new varieties.

Now in the spirit of American Idol, and in accordance with a full-on embrace of crowdsourcing via social media by every single corporation in America, you can log onto Facebook to decide which of these new flavors you would like to make you fat. Are you a Roscoe’s fan and prefer that a synthetic chicken and waffle flavor makes you fat? Or maybe you miss Mama’s Sunday cooking and perhaps would like a synthetic cheesy garlic bread flavor to make you fat? Or mabe you’re a “real foodie” and would enjoy having the Sriracha flavor make you fat? The flavor of your weight gain is in your hands, America. But beware, once young people mobilize against the norm and get a taste of being able to vote for change, our communities may never be the same.   

Product: B+
I SUBMITTED BLACK AND WHITE FLAVORED LAYS THAT CHANGE COLOR (chocolate/white chocolate flavored potato chips that turn rainbow-flavored potato chips)

The liberal West Coast elitists here at Ad Snacking think the flavors that Lay’s selected sound great. Conversely, Michael Symon’s faces throughout the ad (:07, :10. :11, :17 and my favorite :20)…are not so great. But the real question I have is how will America react to these new flavors? When a small community has had Lay’s one way for so long and then all of a sudden the flavors change so drastically like a huge burst of color onto a black and white world, how will townspeople react? Will they all join in town square and embrace each other’s differences? Will they riot over these new flavors that exist? Will everyone be enraged by the full-color mural Mr. Johnson paints on the side of his soda shop? Will the people reading this column catch on to my extended Pleasantville metaphor? Only time will tell. 

Messaging: B
I SUBMITTED PARTY AT THE MOON TOWER FLAVORED LAY’S (pot and keg beer-flavored potato chips) 

So Lay’s narrowed it down to three flavors, and for some inexplicable reason they chose washed-up TV star Eva Longoria to introduce them to America. Now America gets to decide. But whatever America chooses, that’s just like, its opinion, man. Frankly, regardless of what happens with these Lay’s chips, you gotta do your own thing, man. Don’t let the man hold you down. If you don’t like the flavor they choose, take normal Lay’s and just create your own flavor.

Submitted PB&J flavor, but didn’t win? Make ’em yourself. Wish fish taco-flavored chips won? Go for it, man. You just gotta keep livin man. L-I-V-I-N. My favorite thing about Lay’s is that even though I get older, Lay’s always stayed the same.

Creativity: A
I SUBMITTED (KEVIN) BACON FLAVORED LAY’S (bacon, sweaty Converse-flavored potato chips)

I work in a restaurant in NYC and am constantly chasing unique flavor combinations. I’ve known about Sriracha for a while. Because I’m super-edgy and on the cusp of fashion and technology, these flavors aren’t mind-blowing to me, although I applaud the creativity of Lay’s to introduce Sriricha to the masses.

If I lived somewhere without internet, like anywhere besides LA or NY, I’m sure these flavors would really shake up my community. Like, I just read this news article about how this small town banned Lay’s because of this terrible accident involving teenagers driving while eating Lay’s. And there was this hard-nosed preacher in town who was adamant about keeping Lay’s out of the city limits to protect the children. And then this one kid showed up from the city and he just LOVES Lay’s. And he brought a bunch of bags of new flavored Lay’s into town and although he butted heads with law enforcement and leadership and adults in authority positions, over time, things changed for the better. So there you have it: the power of change. A truly dynamic thing, perhaps only surpassed by the power of the potato chip.   

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