You Can Eat Your Goldfish, But Here's Why You Shouldn't
It's true, you really can eat goldfish. They are just smaller versions of carp, a freshwater fish that has been consumed for centuries. Unlike their wild carp cousins though, today's domesticated goldfish (Carassius auratus), are bred to be sold as ornamental pets, as feeder fish, and as bait. While goldfish are technically edible in the fact that they are not poisonous, whether they are palatable or even safe to eat is a different story. There's also the fact that many people grow attached to these creatures as pets and don't think of them as a source of food.
Carp is not thought of as a particularly tasty fish. The way they taste is affected by what they eat, and the waters they live in. They are bottom feeders, and their habitat in murky waters is why they are often described as tasting like mud. The same applies to goldfish, either wild caught or from a fish farm. As well, unlike the larger carp, small goldfish have very little meat but a lot of inedible bones, and deboning them is rather difficult.
More importantly, goldfish can be infected with common conditions like fish tuberculosis that can be transmitted to humans and make us sick. Especially because the bacteria is resistant to cooking heat. Fish tanks and aquariums that goldfish are kept in are also a known source of salmonella, among other diseases that are sure to ruin your appetite. Still interested in eating goldfish? Maybe finding out what they taste like will make you change your mind.
Goldfish taste just like their environment
Since goldfish take on the essence of what they eat and their environment, that could mean they taste like a stinky fish tank or a polluted river. Pet goldfish are usually fed processed fish flakes or pellets, and if you've ever smelled the stuff, you know it doesn't exactly appear appetizing. Fish food ingredients can include fish and squid meal, fish eggs, worms, algae, even antibiotics, and other additives. Yuck.
In a YouTube video titled "Seth Morris and Spencer Neuharth Eat Goldfish," the content creators see for themselves what the tiny creatures really taste like. The two men do their best to debone the fish but find it almost impossible. From the start, they are overwhelmed by the unpleasant fishy smell. They opt to cook it by seasoning it with salt, pepper, and garlic powder, then dredging in flour before deep frying the fish.
Despite their best efforts to make the goldfish taste good, they found it to be pretty revolting, with one of them actually spitting it out, unable to bring himself to swallow a bite. The video partner described the flavor as having a "muddy, fishy, kind of gross taste," and then sucked on a lemon wedge just to get the goldfish taste out of his mouth. They concluded that goldfish have too many bones, not enough meat, and a strong, foul, fishy taste. To sum up the experience, one of them states, "That might be one of the worst things we've eaten."
Why would anyone want to eat a goldfish?
From the bizarrely popular 1930s fad of live goldfish gulping, to modern day stunts like Steve-O from "Jackass" swallowing one on camera, people have apparently been curious about eating goldfish for quite some time. Which begs the question ... why?
One legitimate reason is their availability. The practice of eating goldfish is picking up in parts of the United States where the fish have become invasive. In the Great Lakes region, goldfish are a significant part of the fishing industry's catch, where fishermen bring in hundreds of thousands of pounds from Lake Erie alone. The fish are sold as "gold carp," perhaps in an attempt to normalize eating them. Subsistence fishing may be another reason someone would consider eating goldfish, however, as a food source for people, goldfish don't have much nutritional value.
This leaves the ethical quandary of eating goldfish. Whether you're a vegetarian who abstains from eating fish, or a foodie who just cannot get enough seafood, it's hard to argue with the stance that eating animals bred as pets is both unsanitary and unnecessary. If you've still got a hankering for raw fish, try a next-level piece of sushi instead. Even given the food safety concerns and the fact that they taste bad, you could eat goldfish, but you really shouldn't. With all the far more delicious varieties of fish available to dine on, goldfish belong in their tanks and ponds — not on your plate.