Update That Classic: How To Make Better Tuna Pasta Salad

I hear you. "Tuna pasta salad? Is there really nothing sexier you can write about for lunch today?" Nope, for a veritable cornucopia of semi-legit reasons, none of which involve any scandals, there is nothing sexier I can think of to write about today. I'm going deep in my head to revamp a classic so hard you won't recognize it as the boring beige mess in a bowl you ignore at the deli counter. According to Jungian theory, I should subsequently experience an "alchemical" transformation of the psyche and feel loads better. Let's see if it works.

First, tailor your pasta shape to the problem you seek to fix (anger, money, skankiness), then cook it and use in these purging exorcism lunch spells:


Mix pouched tuna — the canned stuff really does taste like it came out of can — with mayo, horseradish, lemon, dill and lots of freshly ground black pepper. Cavatappi was recently voted classier than rotelle in a non-scientific poll I just conducted via Gchat, so ring the tabloids.


Mix drained oil-packed tuna from a jar (that you got at a specialty market) with a little fancy mayo, either homemade or bought from this awesome little magical place, chopped capers, roasted red peppers, a splash of nice balsamic vinegar and lots of freshly grated aged Parmesan. Goes nicely with croxetti, flat, coin-shaped pasta stamped with heads or coats of arms. Really gets the message across that you spent HOW MUCH on a jar of tuna?

International Club

Mix pouched tuna with mayo, za'atar, sumac, finely chopped red onions and a sprinkle each of turmeric and curry powder. Try it with plain old elbow macaroni as a throwback to Egyptian koshary.


This is a good one! Mix roughly chopped sashimi-grade tuna with a squirt of Japanese mayo, splash of soy sauce, a little wasabi and a bunch of sesame oil, then toss with sliced scallions and chilled soba noodles and garnish with sesame seeds.

I feel loads better! Psh, those Jungians. They say when an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate. Do you want to be the tuna pasta salad in the photo above? Or is your lunch life worth so much more emotional energy?

More alchemical transformations for lunch on Food Republic: