Olympic Dating, Complete With Expert Commentary
[Thank you for tuning into Food Republic TV. We now return to our Olympic coverage with your commentator, Jason Kessler.]
Hello and welcome back to the Games of the XXX Olympiad! We here at Food Republic Olympic Headquarters would like to remind viewers that XXX is the Roman numeral for 30 and does not mean that these games are pornographic in any way. Our next event in the lifestyle category is Olympic Dating. This event is new for 2012 and the French are favored to win, although the American team seems to have a few tricks up their sleeve.
For anyone new to the sport, let's go over the rules for Olympic Dating. Teams comprised of two people are sent to the Copper Box here in London, where they encounter three different venues to choose from (restaurant, bar or wildcard). Athletes select their preferred venue and then attempt to have the most successful date possible with scores being awarded for banter, food and beverage order, charisma, and overall chemistry. Deductions are given for any mention of past relationships, political or religious conversation, and miscellaneous mistakes including sneezing in your date's face or dropping shrimp on the floor and subsequently eating it.
The first team up today is Bridget Mulligan and Danny McSinclair from host country Great Britain. They're a good-looking couple, but as everyone knows, looks don't mean everything in dating. They're approaching the venue designator right now. Bridget seems to be indicating "restaurant," but Danny is trying to convince her otherwise. Let's see what they end up with...wildcard! They went with wildcard! Danny pressed the button for wildcard and now their mysterious venue is taking shape. It's — I can't quite make it out. Is that? Oh yes! Oh my! It's a perfect replica of a snack bar at a community pool. This is bad news for the Brits. Lots of pitfalls here. Let's see how this goes.
Fascinating first move. Instead of ordering at the window, Mulligan and McSinclair have commandeered a bench and just started talking. How very unconventional of them. It's a gamble, but the judges do love dating creativity. McSinclair is now pulling out his wallet. What could he be doing? Oh yes! Look at that! He's given some money to a young adolescent nearby and he's arranging for the child to bring them some lemonade. That is quite savvy. What a remarkable move. Mulligan seems very impressed and her body language is reflecting that. If you'll pardon the pun, this date is going swimmingly!
They seem to be struggling for conversation right now. Mulligan is talking about not being able to swim and now McSinclair is floundering a bit. He's struggling to make the connection, but just before a prolonged silence he brings up dogs. It's a perfect segue! Now they're sharing dog stories and laughing. McSinclair just reached out and put his hand on Mulligan's and the crowd is just eating this up! The lemonades arrive. McSinclair gives his new young friend a generous tip and the team from Great Britain is showing that they are serious contenders.
When we come back, we'll observe the rest of the date and see who will take home the gold in Olympic Dating. Stay with us right here on Food Republic TV.
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