So You Like Spicy Tuna Rolls...

Look at how grim and ominous that photo looks. One lone spicy tuna roll, hiding under his blankie of sriracha mayo. Cowering. He's read the headlines. He knows that his brothers are under attack. He knows it's only a matter of time before everyone stops ordering him. Such is the life of a food, exposed. Welcome to the first installment of What Not To Eat For Lunch, a road I hope I'll never have to travel down again.

Spicy tuna tolls, for the raw fish beginner, are filled with a mixture of raw tuna, sriracha and a little mayo to bind it together. I've known what grade of tuna goes into these rolls for some time and have still eaten them. They're not my favorite thing on the menu, but you see them around. It'll take more than "trimmings" to turn me off to something tasty. Tuna is already endangered, so if we're eating them anyway we should definitely scrape the thing clean. The best stuff on any animal is usually close to the bone. I won't lie though, when I first started reading about pink slime I made the comparison in my head. Then people started getting sick.

As murky as ground meat quality and regulation may seem, there are no currently no standards in place with regards to ground fish. Considering that the vast majority of our seafood is imported, this makes a salmonella outbreak in processed fish products news for everyone who's ever chosen nigiri over a burger. Nearly 60,000 pounds of trimmings (or "scrape") have been recalled, three times as much as the last big ground beef roundup, and 116 people have been affected. That's more than enough to turn me off to something I previously considered tasty. And just like how many now eye that package of supermarket ground 80/20 blend, I expect some sushi enthusiasts will be permanently benching a member of the team.

But hey, soft shell crabs are in season. And boy, are they tasty tempura-fried and dipped in ponzu. You can't meat-grind a silver lining like that.