We were pretty intrigued by the recent Wall Street Journal story, “Testing the Limits of Tipsy,” or, “Who Gets Drunk, and Why?” Why? Because we’ve all had nights out when it suddenly occurs to you that you may have had one too many, and you don’t know how it happened. An ex-girlfriend sighting wasn’t involved. That little guy next to you who’s been matching you drink-for-drink is just dandy. But the salad you ate for lunch is nowhere to be found.

We started debating the best foods to eat before a “dedicated” night out, especially since festivities tend to commence well before dinner. That leaves whatever you had for lunch as the sole padding for that first cocktail that didn’t sound girly on the menu, but, to your dismay, arrived bearing fruit in a martini glass in a ravishing shade of pink. We’ll admit, it’s already been an interesting week. 

Enter fettuccine alfredo, the unanimous winner of this heated debate. Satisfying starch, tasty fat, maybe a little parsley for good measure. Go ahead, order a round of shots for everyone. It’s Thursday happy hour. It’ll take more than a whiskey bullet to break through the impenetrable, emulsified barrier formed when butter, cream and Parmesan unite. Protect your innards and integrity with a lining of fettuccine alfredo’s creamy concrete, and you’ll finish your fun run in excellent shape