The Unexpected Thing Ina Garten Never Brings To A Dinner Party
Food maven Ina Garten is the mistress of hosting. When it comes to giving a dinner party, she literally wrote the book (seriously –- it's called "Barefoot Contessa Parties! Ideas and Recipes for Easy Parties That Are Really Fun"). So, it comes as no surprise that she's full of dos, don'ts, and entertaining rules you should never break. Beyond whipping up easy hors d'oeuvres and knowing how much food to make for a crowd, the Barefoot Contessa also has some tips for attending a function at someone else's house. One of these is that you should never show up to a dinner party with flowers that aren't in a vase (via YouTube).
Flowers are always a nice host or hostess gift. But if you bring blooms that are still wrapped in grocer's plastic or florist paper, you've just turned your gesture into a burden. Why? Because, suddenly, a busy friend trying to juggle welcoming their guests, cooking, and serving has an added task to deal with: finding a vase for your darned flowers. Not to mention filling the vase with water, trimming the stems, adding that little pouch of flower food, and disposing of the floral wrapping in trash cans that are likely already full from cooking for the incoming crowd. It doesn't matter how pretty the arrangement looks — your well-meaning gift just added an extra job to your friend's full plate.
If you're going to arrive bearing flora, put it in a container and make sure it's completely ready to go. You don't have to break the bank and bring a vase made from Waterford crystal or anything. Just make sure your flowers can be immediately placed wherever the host wants them. If they're fuss-free, then and only then are they actually a gift.
What you should — and shouldn't — bring to a dinner party
As with vase-less flowers, avoid any gift that ultimately translates into more work or an inconvenience for your host. As you select something, run it through that mental filter: Will this item disrupt the party prep or become burdensome in any way?
Various well-meaning gestures can be a faux pas. You shouldn't bring an unsolicited dish, for instance, if it's not a potluck affair and you weren't expressly asked. You don't know what style of menu the host has planned or how many people are coming. They'll probably feel obligated to serve your dish, even if it clashes horribly with the rest of the spread. Plus, this is the host's night to showcase their culinary skills — not yours. Just be the invited guest you're intended to be and enjoy what your friend has put so much effort into preparing.
You can, however — and should — ask beforehand if the host would like you to bring something. Focused, open-ended questions are best. "Can I bring anything?" is less productive than, "I'd be glad to bring a bottle of wine or something similar to go with your menu. What would be most helpful?" If they decline your offer, leave it at that — but you should still bring a gift. Apart from flowers, something that can be set aside, untouched and unopened, until after the party is the least intrusive. You could take the pathway of a recovery gift of sorts for your host to enjoy as they unwind post-dinner — maybe a nice assortment of pastries from a bakery you know they like, a gourmet coffee blend, or a gift certificate for some pampering, like a massage or manicure.