Silencing cellphones and not chatting during movies is common courtesy, but it’s not enough for one British man, according to South West News Service.

In a SWNS video, Mike Shotton condemns beautiful buttery popcorn, calling it the “nosiest snack known to man.” Really? What about kettle chips? Rice crackers? Raw carrot sticks?

Shotton’s personal vendetta against popcorn led him to start a petition to ban the snack on account of noise pollution, and it garnered 124 signatures. That’s 125 people who want to ruin your moviegoing experience. Thankfully, the House of Commons is only required to act on a petition if it has 10,000 signatures, and we don’t think there are 9,875 more killjoys out there. Hopefully.

Meanwhile, in the States, a new dine-in theater in Brooklyn, Syndicated, is making an effort to serve only finger foods to eliminate the sounds of silverware. However, Syndicated isn’t going to the absurd length of banning popcorn.

Mildly infuriated by Shotton’s own infuriation, I went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the movie Shotton was watching before he lost his cool, with a bag of popcorn in my arms and a noise-measuring app in my hand. The movie itself got pretty noisy, upwards of 150 decibels at times, with some moments of quietness, around 65 decibels at its lowest. My popcorn munching added only about five decibels during those peaceful interludes. Even in a packed theater, I struggled to overhear anyone else chowing on the popular snack.

Another Food Republic editor took his wife to see Joy over the weekend. Crunching as loud as he could during the lulls, he couldn’t get his own decibel app to go higher than 75. The movie itself peaked around 103.

Given our experiences, it’s hard to see how anyone can reasonably complain about some light chewing amid the booming sounds that define today’s cinematic environment.

Which makes us wonder: In what ancient movie theater with busted speakers was Shotton watching the latest Star Wars effort? Or was he just watching the silent version?