Cheetos Dust And Friends: The Story Of An Empty Pepper Mill

Is it one Cheeto? Like, hey there's a Cheeto between the couch cushions? Cheeto dust? Or Cheetos dust. OR, Cheetos' dust, because it once belonged to the Cheetos. Regardless, I got a press package the other day that was as awesome as the fake sriracha was lame. It was an empty pepper mill and a very large bag of crunchy Cheetos. Naturally, I snackstagrammed it within 15 seconds of opening the box and got 17 comments in like, an hour. #sensational

So now that it's pretty evident you and many people you know could get down with this concept, I suppose it's up to me to suggest how you go about doing it. Sorry if I don't sound excited, I really am. I'm just nervous. I've never done this before. Oh and feel free to substitute Doritos, as has been done in the past, or any of your favorite fine snack foods, like Fritos, pork rinds, corn nuts, anything that'll fit into a grinder. I'm sticking with Cheetos for the time being because I really, really truly do love them.

  • I'm going to start with a bang: Cheetos dust on Cheez-It Mac and Cheese. That genius creation that boasts a crushed-up Cheez-It crust, and now, a smattering of that fine orange.
  • You know how Italians are totally snob-noxious about their carbonara? Yeah, screw it. Grind a bunch of Cheeto residue on top before you serve yourself. Seriously, don't let anyone see you do that/don't tell anyone I'm considering doing that because it sounds so grotesquely delicious.
  • Use as a final touch on this recipe for tomato soup with grilled cheese croutons. Know why? It's cold out. And it's your right as an adult to decide what that means for you.
  • Sneak it into the breadcrumb topping for a gratin. Tell me the idea of this menu item doesn't get your gears moving just a little: foraged mushroom gratin, buttered breadcrumbs, flurry of Cheet-snow.

Cheet-snow! That's what that stuff should be called. I'm not calling it cheetle, as the publicist suggested. That sounds like a gross Cheetos-based street drug that's been cut with Cheez Doodles so many times you're in constant peril of an overdose. Well, so does Cheet-snow I guess. There's really no way around it, this is sketchy business and what you secretly spike your lunch with is your business alone. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bag of Smartfood cheddar popcorn to tear open the corners of and lick.

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