There are only so many more hours to revel in the
relentless torment family-friendly romp that is the 2016 presidential election, so let’s make sure we don’t miss any gems, cause once they’re gone, they’re gone, folks! (Kidding, of course: The trauma will follow us forever.)
We realized yesterday, after reading about the on-air gaffe of self-professed “fatigued” Trump surrogate Scottie Nell Hughes, that we actually HAVE a Mazel Tov cocktail recipe I wrote as a joke five years ago. It’s one part gin to two parts Manischewitz (or as I like to call it, “discouragement wine”) with a twist of lime to really mess it all up. Anyone would happily accept a glass bottle of kerosene with a flaming rag sticking out of it rather than choke down this novelty libation.
Needless to say, Twitter had one last rollicking point-and-laugh fest.
As anyone with sense knows, a proper Mazel Tov cocktail is
2 oz Manischewitz
1 oz gefilte fish water
1 dash of your Bubbie’s lonely tears https://t.co/nEvbTbsJVv
— Justin Cohen (@juscohen) November 7, 2016
Guys, let me just settle this confusion right now. A mazel tov cocktail is when a Jew owns a gentile with a sick burn online or IRL.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 7, 2016
I believe the very first “mazel tov cocktail” was thrown by Perchik the radical, at Tzeitel and Motel’s wedding https://t.co/KKdJXmPvuZ
— Warren Leight (@warrenleightTV) November 7, 2016
Mazel Tov cocktails go great with lunch from the taco truck.
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) November 7, 2016
Wondering what a Mazel Tov cocktail might be. Trump’s surrogate says Jay Z has a video where people throw them at cops. Are they tasty?
— MariaElena Fernandez (@writerchica) November 7, 2016
No, we have no idea what a “mazel tov cocktail” is.
— Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) November 7, 2016
But that’s okay, because Manischewitz does!
— Manischewitz (@ManischewitzCo) November 7, 2016
And as Donald Trump, a bubbling dish of macaroni, cheese and melted Crayola “macaroni and cheese” crayons, aggressively mazel tovs his winning personality tonight regardless of the outcome, we will literally drink any booze you hand us in celebration that this election season has come to an end.