ketchup

I remember dipping fries into ketchup in India as a kid and thinking "what the hell is this stuff?" It was definitely ketchup — thick, sweet and dark — but it was sharper and more spiced than its glossy, pale red American counterpart. Comprehending as an American child that another country's ketchup could possibly be better on more things really did a number on my juvenile patriotism. And it really didn't help the early onset urge to photograph and document what I ate.

Treat this formula as a blank canvas. Everyone has their favorite meatloaf add-in — some can't do without chopped carrots, others require parsley or other such vegetation. We recommend mixing in a caramelized onion or two before baking, because nothing loves ground beef like sweet, sticky onions.

There's nothing like opening the fridge and seeing a bottle of ketchup at least half-full. Your fries shall be dipped. Your burger will be okay. Your eggs are safe. But if you've been to a trendy establishment serving up any posh "housemade" variation on ketchup, you may eventually look at your squeezy bottle as half-empty. We raise our hats to you, food snob.