With so many enticing options on television last night — the start of the NHL playoffs, for instance, the Golden State Warriors’ successful pursuit of the all-time NBA record for most wins in a season and Kobe’s final game (60!) — millions around the country undoubtedly stayed home, glued to their couches with half-empty boxes of pizza and buckets of chicken wings scattered on the floor. Sound familiar? It’s never been easier to order in food, with a number of delivery apps offering unprecedented efficiency and access to dishes from major cities’ top restaurants.
Think you’re an ordering-in pro? Sure, you may know the phone number of your neighborhood Chinese joint by heart and have your favorite Domino’s order saved in the system, but the truth is you can’t really proclaim couch-potato supremacy just yet. Not until you’ve passed our ultimate “have you ever” delivery-food quiz, that is. Try it out and check what the results mean at the bottom of the page. Not that we’ve ever done or condone any of this whatsoever at Food Republic.
Give yourself one point if you have ever…
- Late-night ordered [favorite drunken food], passed out before it arrived and woke up to 14 missed calls from the deliveryman/restaurant. Bonus point if all this was done from the confines of your bed.
- Received two extra fortune cookies/chopsticks/plastic utensils because the restaurant thought you ordered for three when you really ordered only for yourself. Bonus point for a three-person fortune-cookie differential.
- Placed an order via a website that allows you to GPS-track the courier, continuously refreshed the page and surprised him or her by already being downstairs upon arrival.
- Ordered while in transit on your way home and timed it so perfectly that you and the food arrived at the same exact time.
- Declared yourself completely full after “finishing” eating, placed the leftovers in the fridge and reheated/ate them 15 to 20 minutes later.
- Included the statement “order less delivery food” in your New Year’s resolutions. Bonus point for multiple years’ inclusion.
- Gotten berated by a deliveryman for only tipping [x-amount] or for not tipping in cash.
- Ordered delivery food from the restaurant across the street. Bonus point if the restaurant was actually attached to the lobby of your building.
- Disagreed on cuisine preferences with your friends and placed six different delivery orders for the six of you. Bonus point if you selected an item for yourself in at least two of these orders.
- Eaten leftovers from a previous delivery order…as you waited for your current delivery order.
What the Results Mean
10+ points: You really need to get out more.
7-9 points: Have you washed your TV remote/computer keyboard lately? It’s caked in a healthy layer of dried hoisin sauce. Nice, bro.
4-6 points: The deliveryman has started to recognize you…and comment on your affinity for sweatpants.
1-3 points: You just opened the door fully for the deliveryman while hot-boxing your 450-square-foot apartment. Smoke billowed out into the hallway. Amateur.
0 points: You really need to get out less.