Let's Play The Gérard Depardieu Drinking Game!

Somewhere in a universe where people believe the things super-famous actors say about their personal lives, lies this headline: Gérard Depardieu: I Drink 14 Bottles Of Wine A Day And I've Killed Two Lions. Gérard Depardieu was wine-drunk in lion territory? Let's go directly to that universe, because that sounds like an awesome place to play a drinking game inspired by a prolific actor who inspired a blog of photos of him smelling wine.

To play the official verison, you'll need 14 bottles per person, so let's round down slightly and go with one case per party. And two stuffed lions, which can just hang out not threatening anyone's life. Write these movie titles on slips of paper and mix them up inside a beret. Whoever speaks the most passable French goes first, then keep going around the circle until...well, let us know what happens after you make it around once.

Green Card

Split a bottle of wine with whoever could potentially benefit from a green card marriage...then talk about it and possibly do it. YOLO.

Cyrano de Bergerac

The person with the largest nose — totally objectively speaking — has to finish their glass, then sing "Roxanne" or recite a love poem. Ask which they'd rather do, then make them do the other one.

Asterix

You can skip this round if you carry a giant rock like Obelix for the duration. Cause Depardieu was in Asterix, which...nobody reading this has seen. It's okay, it wasn't good.

Napoléon

Shortest dude in the room aggressively belittles tallest dude in the room until he finishes his glass, then ANOTHER! Since this is a mini-series and that is a built-in pun, the belittler gets to do this three more times at his discretion.

Vatel

This one's my favorite — glasses down! Whoever has the least wine gets to choose someone to make them a snack. If the snack proves insufficient, the snackmaker has to play dead for 10 minutes. That's my interpretation of Vatel.

La Vie en Rose

Whoever is willing to finish the champagne left in the bottle, then sing a full song in a French accent gets $20, donated by the generous host of the party.

Or you can just defect to the France-Belgium border and/or Russia and party it up with the big guy himself (switch to vodka, obviously).

Thirsty for more? Wow, impressive. Try The Liam Neeson Drinking Game on for size.