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Remember Capri-Sun? Those impossible-to-stick-a-straw-into pouches of sheer goodness? Check out this hack for making the easiest frozen dessert ever, right after the jump. Your kids will think you're a superhero. 

Don’t knock slothing around on the couch. I’ve made some of my greatest food discoveries there. This instance involved watching Stanley Kubrick: A Life In Pictures on Blu-ray, um… not smoking pot, and watching a friend retrieve a familiar icon from the freezer. It was a Capri-Sun. 

First, thoughts on Capri-Sun. My mom wouldn’t buy them (turns out she was right about the whole pure unadulterated sugar water thing), so when I finally got my eager little hands on one now and again, being entirely out of practice, I couldn’t get the damn straw in. Could not. It bent and perforated, made little dents in the foil around its teeny little target and incited raging thirst while doing so. So when I saw my friend (the habanero sandwich guy) sideswipe that whole problem by freezing the contents and scooping them out with a spoon to perfect slushy consistency, I first yelled “No! Why is it winter?” and then shoved another into the freezer.

Here’s the hack: Freeze for at least 6 hours, snip open the top with scissors (little Jess redemption!), loosen up the ice into a slush and have at it. Goes nicely with scary clips of Malcolm McDowell.

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