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These recipes aren’t fancy. They’re not parading around as fancy or secretly packing a host of healthy ingredients. They’re straight-up bar food of the highest caliber (the only caliber of bar food we know). We realized long ago that fried food couldn’t possibly soak up booze, cause it’s soaked in hot oil. But it still tastes so right, so there’s some of that. Cheese is important, preferably melted. And of course, there’s the ever-important “so spicy you have to drink it away” component.

…plus, individual shooters of pumpkin-kale soup. Just kidding. That’s not what we’re trying to hear right now.