We’ve been publishing recipes from Ming Tsai’s new interactive cookbook, Simply Ming In Your Kitchen. It’s a great book by an epic chef, but leave it to Darth effing Vader to do our jobs for us. While I was linking to the page, I noticed that the sole review was by a commenter named Chef Vader. Here’s his intro:
“One of the most effective ways to maintain limitless recruitment to the Empire is to feed your Stormtroopers well. After all, most of them are only going to live for about 12 seconds in a given Jedi encounter, anyways — so you might as well see to it that they at least have a nice last meal. Hey, just because I’m a Sith doesn’t mean I’m completely heartless.”
As you may know, when you’re the only one reviewing a product, you’re automatically at the top of the Most Helpful Customer Reviews list. Here are some pros and cons of Tsai’s cookbook, according to the Sith Gourmet (who ended up giving it three Death Stars; that one was mine, he never actually said that).
- A number of his books adorn the shelves of the Imperial library.
- The pan fried scallop satays were so good, it almost inspired me to Force Pet a kitten.
- The miso friseé salad was delicious enough that I caught myself foodgasm-dialing Yoda to apologize for all those short jokes I had been texting him over the years.
- You know when you buy a Ming Tsai book, what you’re getting is about as Asian as a Gungan riding a Kawasaki, so be prepared.
- The panko crusted pork cutlets were so mediocre that I couldn’t even get Jabba to finish my plate. Well, he ate the plate – he just left the pork behind.
- It makes me so ANGRY and, as we all know, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering [regarding the demo videos for sale online].
- I just want to Force Choke the editors for adopting this business model.
Sigh, there are so many awful Star Wars food jokes. I’m just going to leave the kicker blank.
More stuff we found online from Food Republic: