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This week Food Republic is paying tribute to all things Greek yogurt, which might just be the most important foodstuff in the world right now. Next up, we asked three Greeks to blind taste test seven brands of Greek yogurt.

Embiricos, Karagiorgas and Pappanicholas are sitting in our office’s conference room, spoons in hands, ready for the challenge. We called this panel of tasters together to blind-taste and rate seven name brand Greek yogurts using three categories: taste, texture and authenticity. We’re calling that “Greek-ness.” And they should know about Greek-ness.

George Embiricos is Food Republic’s whip-smart intern, a Vanderbilt graduate who spent every summer in Greece as a child. Eva Karagiorgas is FR’s Senior Marketing Manager and in-house Greek food scholar. Christian Pappanicholas grew up in the restaurant business and currently owns two of his own: Resto and The Cannibal Beer & Butcher Shop, both located in Manhattan. All three tasters eat Greek yogurt daily. So what did they think? Here are the results in reverse order. Each category was rated on a 1-10 scale.             

7. So Delicious Dairy Free
Taste: 2
Texture: 2
Greek-ness: 2

Tasting notes: 
“Was this liquefied angel turds?” | “Oaty, alcohol flavor.” | “Tastes like papier-mâché. I could build my son a volcano with this.”

Note: To be fair, this was the only dairy-free product tested. Also, don’t buy dairy-free Greek yogurt unless absolutely necessary per dietary requirements. 

6. Eros Organic 2%
Taste: 5
Texture: 5
Greek-ness: 3.5
TOTAL:  13.5

Tasting notes: 
“Is this melted plastic?” | “Pudding-like glue.” | “Flat, with no acid.”

5. Oikos 0%
Taste: 14
Texture: 15
Greek-ness: 10

Tasting notes: 
“Very plain and a bit chalky.” | “Bright, high acid, not thick enough.”

4. Wallaby Organic 2%
Taste: 14
Texture: 15
Greek-ness: 11

Tasting notes: 
“Very light, almost too light.” | “Very light and a little empty.” | “Great acid, but texture is a bit thin.”

3. Fage Total 2%
Taste: 18
Texture: 19.5
Greek-ness: 13
TOTAL: 50.5

Tasting notes: 
“Weird texture and terrible after-taste.” | “Sharp and creamy. Tastes of whole milk.” | “Very good acid here.”

3. Chobani 2%
Taste: 16.5
Texture: 20.5
Greek-ness: 13.5
TOTAL: 50.5

Tasting notes: 
“Combination of light and bitter flavors, customary of Greek yogurt.” | “Bright acid, but seems a little watered-down.”

1. 365 Whole Foods 2%
Taste 22.5
Texture: 23
Greek-ness 24
TOTAL: 69.5

Tasting notes:
“Very sharp with nice thickness. I could eat the whole thing.” | “Rich, firm texture. Very sharp.” | “Just like being in a Greek village. Now all I need are the goats.”

Read more from Greek Yogurt Week on Food Republic: