Food And Dining Etiquette Rules You Need To Stop Breaking

In an era where embracing a more relaxed style has become increasingly acceptable, the essence of refined dining seems to have gone by the wayside. While we do love to celebrate leaning into what's casual and comfortable (like wearing yoga pants to the grocery store), there's no reason why timeless dining etiquette should fade into obscurity. Instead, it presents an opportunity to revive the elegance and grace inherent in the dining experience. 

Dining etiquette doesn't need to be a stuffy thing of the past, but it can be a means to reclaim the true beauty and art that can be found within a dinner shared amongst loved ones. From showing respect to your fellow diners and servers to navigating the meal with grace and charm, at the end of the day, etiquette is really about enjoying the company of others while savoring each bite with sophistication and style. So, let's dust off our finest manners and embark on a journey through the exquisite realm of proper dining decorum.

There are few things more enjoyable than a family-style meal surrounded by loved ones. The sight of steaming dishes placed around the dinner table whets our appetites as we prepare to share a nourishing meal with our nearest and dearest. When you go to serve yourself from a piping hot bowl of mashed potatoes, a simple question may arise: Is there a correct way to pass food around the table?

There actually is common etiquette for passing dishes. While some may dismiss this practice as antiquated, understanding the dynamics of this gesture can prevent awkward reaches, accidental spills, and mealtime disruptions. The general rule is to pass to the right. This convention stems from the fact that most individuals prefer holding a dish with their left hand, allowing them to serve themselves with their dominant right hand. While this may not cater to left-handed diners, it remains the traditional norm.

While the default may be passing to the right, always defer to the host's initial choice to ensure harmony at the table.

This rule is generally well-known, but it can become slightly more complex when dining out with a group, especially if everyone's entrées arrive at different times. While proper etiquette dictates waiting until all are served, manners expert Diane Gottsman suggests there's some flexibility here. "A good host and a polite guest knows it's important to wait for everyone to be served," Gottsman told Vogue. "However, a gracious guest that knows everyone else's food is getting cold will not want to hold up the table. She or he will say, 'Please eat, I insist,' and the rest of the table has permission to start."

So, while it's considerate to wait until everyone has been served, in situations where meals are arriving at various times, the best approach is to wait for the individual waiting for their food to give the go-ahead to dig in.

Have you ever paused to ponder how the tradition of having salt and pepper on the table became so ubiquitous? While spices have been integral to cooking for centuries, they weren't always made available to diners. Up through 17th-century Europe, salt and pepper were always added in the kitchen — and with a heavy hand, at that. Interestingly, salt shakers didn't emerge until the 20th century, primarily to prevent salt from clumping. Nevertheless, this tradition persists, with salt and pepper shakers adorning tables worldwide.

One enduring yet often overlooked rule of etiquette is to always pass the salt and pepper together. Consider them as an inseparable duo, akin to a well-matched (potentially codependent) pair always traveling side by side. This practice isn't just about tradition; it's also a courteous gesture towards your dining companions. By passing both condiments together, you preemptively fulfill any potential desire for pepper after the request for salt. So, the next time someone asks you to pass the pepper, remember to offer the salt as well.

This is a classic rule with potential implications, even extending to hireability! Before delving further, it's important to understand that proper etiquette encourages tasting your food before seasoning it. Not only does this practice enable you to assess the required amount of seasoning accurately, but it also helps avoid inadvertently offending the chef by implying that their dish lacks flavor right off the bat. 

According to legend, Henry Ford would assess job candidates over lunch, and those who salted their food before tasting it reportedly didn't receive job offers. While the authenticity of this tale may be uncertain, its underlying message resonates with many. Although occasionally salting a dish before tasting it might be acceptable, etiquette suggests that you should always sample the food first to determine the appropriate level of seasoning. It's a simple yet significant gesture that demonstrates respect for both the chef's expertise and the culinary experience as a whole.

When dining out, particularly at upscale establishments, signaling to your server that you've finished your meal can sometimes be perplexing. Where do you put your fork and knife when you're done eating? Fortunately, traditional etiquette provides a helpful method for communicating this to waitstaff. The customary approach involves treating your plate like a clock: Place the handles of your cutlery, typically a fork and knife, at 4 o'clock with the tines or blades angled diagonally at 10 o'clock. Ensure that the fork rests below the knife, and the blade of the knife faces towards you.

While this guideline is generally straightforward, there are some regional variations. In Europe, it's common for the fork to be turned over, whereas in the United States, it should face upwards. Although this practice isn't as widespread today, and some people consider it an archaic restaurant etiquette rule, it remains a generally understood means of indicating to the waitstaff that you've finished your meal.

Be mindful of the pace of your fellow diners and wait until most have finished before positioning your cutlery in this manner, as a sign of respect to everyone at the table.

The realm of dining etiquette can indeed be intricate, but amidst its complexities, one simple gesture can sometimes be overlooked: expressing gratitude with a gracious thank you at the end of a meal. This is an especially pertinent etiquette rule at dinner parties. Whether a friend has hosted you for dinner, your boss has treated you to lunch, or your partner has prepared a meal for you, never underestimate the power of expressing appreciation for their efforts.

In a more casual setting, a verbal thank you as the meal concludes suffices. However, if someone has welcomed you into their home and provided a meal, going the extra mile by sending a handwritten thank-you card or flowers in the days following can be a truly meaningful gesture. In a world increasingly dominated by digital interactions, there's an undeniable charm in receiving a heartfelt note written by hand.

Moreover, if your spouse or parent has prepared a weeknight dinner for you, taking the time to express gratitude by helping with the dishes and tidying up is a beautiful way to demonstrate your appreciation. At the end of the day, cooking for someone is a form of showing them love, so be sure to return the energy!