The Kessler Report

The $5 Costco Chicken: 5 Dinners for 5 Bucks. Here's How To Do It.

Start with a rotisserie chicken and heed our words

Jun 11, 2013 1:01 pm

I finally found a reason to buy a Costco membership: the $5 rotisserie chicken. I'm not kidding when I say that the $5 rotisserie chicken could be the answer to our nation's hunger problems. I got four meals out of that bird. FOUR MEALS. Here's how I broke it down.

The Kessler Report

Respect Your Bincho-Tan: The 10 Robata Commandments

Obey the rules of Japanese high-heat grilling

May 22, 2013 9:02 am

For most of my life, I thought that robata was the female version of Mr. Roboto. I assumed you just gave her a nice little “domo arigato” and that was the end of that. I was wrong. Robata is a long-standing Japanese grilling tradition. Behold, Reader-san, the 10 Commandments of Robata!

The Kessler Report

If Cereal Mascots Were Superheroes

On breaks from slinging cereal, they save the world

May 9, 2013 10:01 am

I don't know any superheroes. I do, however, know some other heroes. They're friendly. They're outrageous. They encourage me to eat a complete breakfast. They're the mascots for breakfast cereal and as Defenders of the Most Important Meal of the Day, I think they're all superheroes. Let's meet The Milky Marauders.

The Kessler Report

Comedy Time: What If Jack Daniels Joined Match.com?

Imagine if manly bourbons had dating profiles

Apr 25, 2013 1:01 pm

The bourbon world is filled with gentlemen: Jacks and Jims and Elijahs galore. But who are these whiskey barons? In this edition of The Kessler Report, we dive deep into the souls of America's biggest bourbon personalities in the only way that's relevant to the internet: the online dating profile. Read on.

The Kessler Report

Throw Your Own Home Sushi Party (Safely): An Interview With An Expert

A Japanese master on handling, shopping for fish

Apr 10, 2013 1:02 pm

Sushi is intimidating. In my mind, it falls into the same category as bulldozing and bronze-sculpting in terms of things I shouldn't do at home. As it turns out, it's not only affordable: it's really fun. A real win-fin situation. Since I'm not an expert on the matter myself, I had to track one down (and I did). Read on.

The Kessler Report

Remembering The 1962 James Beard Awards

Historically accurate? Check. Real? Not so much.

Mar 27, 2013 9:01 am

In the butter-soaked annals of history, the 1962 James Beard Awards go down as one of the most salacious awards shows to ever exist. Fights broke out at the buffet, nominees accepted awards while doing heroin, and Harpo Marx, at age 74, spoke for the first time in front of a live audience. His first words? “Go f--- yourself, Julia Child.” Here are the highlights.

The Kessler Report

Game Day Eating Plan: Getting Around Stadium Food

How to avoid that $14 hot dog with a soggy bun

Mar 14, 2013 1:01 pm

Basketball is to me as Georgia is to Ray Charles: always on my mind. So you can probably imagine how excited I get to go to an actual NBA game. I love that excitement of professional sports. What I don't love is eating at a stadium. Read on for tips on avoiding overpriced and underwhelming arena food.

The Kessler Report

What Do You Drink If You Don't Drink Coffee?

Did you and Joe have a falling out?

Feb 28, 2013 10:01 am

In elementary school music class, we had to learn a song about coffee. The chorus was something along the lines of “C-O-F-F-E-E, coffee is not for me.” If “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” is about the intrinsic value of boat paddling, this coffee song was designed to keep kids off the beans. It worked on me. I don't like coffee. I never have. What's a guy to do for his morning cup of Joe when he and Joe had a falling out?