The Kessler Report

8 Celebrity-Branded Craft Spirits You'll Unfortunately Never Get To Drink

Bring your tiny dog to this celebrity booze party
Mar 28, 2014 10:00 am

Now, I'm a man of big dreams and one of those dreams is that every C-list celeb in the world would get their own liquor brand to push. It would be so glorious to offer guests a glass of Craig Ferguson's Scottish Scotch or Charlie Sheen's #WinningSangria. Here are 8 you'll never have the misery of swilling down.

Meet 8 New-School Pasta Masters Of Los Angeles

These chefs are making LA's best pasta dishes
Mar 6, 2014 12:00 pm

The truth is that Angelenos love to eat. Sure, we have tremendous sushi, but did you know we also have incredible pasta? We may be the biggest city in the country without an official Little Italy, but instead we have great chefs serving unbelievable Italian food. While there's definitely a contingent of OG Pasta Godfathers, the new crop of talent is even more exciting. The new pasta masters of LA, right this way.

Curtis Stone On Opening Maude In Beverly Hills And Its 'Hardcore Little Kitchen'

Top Chef Master's restaurant is a real force
Feb 20, 2014 11:00 am

Curtis Stone became a household name after getting some quality time on-camera with shows like TLC's Take Home ChefToday on NBC, and Bravo's chef superstar spin-off Top Chef Masters. Now that he's at the top of the TV chef mountain, he's decided to open his very first “tiny little restaurant” and guess what? It's really, really good. We sat down with Stone to talk about the non-menu. 

The Food-Lover's Guide To OKCupid Valentine's Day Pick-Up Lines

You love food? I love food! We should get a drink.
Feb 12, 2014 12:00 pm

You may be figuring out which awful prix-fixe dinner you and your sweetheart will be regretting on Friday, but I'm just trying to decide which of the OKCupid foodie girls I'm going to message in hopes of finding a last-minute Valentine's date. The key is to keep it short and sweet. This is what I'm working with so far.

Meet The 8 Sushi Masters Of Los Angeles

They run the sushi counters you'll want to sit at
Jan 29, 2014 2:00 pm

Has there ever been a more idiosyncratic type of food as sushi? Every itamae, or sushi chef, starts with the same basic tools, but the test of a real sushi star is how they transform those elements into something greater than their parts suggest. In LA, we're lucky enough to have a full stable of world-class itamae working all over the city. They may not seem like superheroes, but after one omakase, you're sure to believe in their magical powers. These are LA's sushi masters.

The All-New 100% Can't Fail SlimQuik Hyper-Locavore Diet

This is our favorite diet from Healthy Living Week
Jan 15, 2014 12:00 pm

 The problem that most people have with New Years' diets is that they're too difficult to stick to. They have too many special rules to follow and too many special ingredients to buy. Luckily, I have a solution. It's the 100% Can't-Fail SlimQuik Hyper-Locavore Diet and it's going to change your life completely. You never have to leave the house again until you're no longer an enormous monstrosity!

At Last, A Vending Machine That Makes You A Delicious Burrito (Every Time!)

The best food we've ever ordered with one button
Jan 8, 2014 11:00 am

Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen the future. And it comes wrapped in a tortilla. What is Burritobox? It's a Redbox-esque kiosk that prepares burritos in sixty seconds. The very first location happens to be inside of a gas station close to my house, so I went to check it out for lunch. I say this with utmost sincerity: I was blown away. Here are many reasons why.

Imagining Jay-Z's Vegan Christmas Menu

A peek at the invite to Christmas at the Carters
Dec 11, 2013 12:00 pm

Unless your current address is “Rock, Apt. Under” you've probably heard that Jay-Z and BeyoncĂ© have gone vegan, or as the Jiggaman himself prefers to call it “plant-based,” for about three weeks. Let's just assume for a second that the Carters are so down with the Veggie Way that they decide to keep it going for tinsel time. If that's the case, this is what I expect Jay-Z's vegan Christmas menu to look like.

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