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See this proposal? Don't do it. It's mushy and gross and you probably won't remember to make guac with the results.

What’s with the proposing with avocado trend kids are guac’ing up our feeds with? What’s the plan for after you pop the question? Do you just leave the avocado halves on the counter or picnic blanket? Because that’s how you get ants. More importantly, avocados start oxidizing the second they’re sliced, so unless your entire plan is to mash a diamond ring into an avocado and rush it over to your intended within a minute or so, skip the quickly browning mush and try something a little more creative.


Go Meta And Mock The Trend

If you’re certain your partner has seen and possibly already made fun of the engagement-ring-in-an-avocado trend, peruse all four pages of Etsy devoted to avocado rings and pick out your favorite. Better yet, get this matching set. One has the pit!

A Little Something From The Garden

If you’re going to use fresh produce in your proposal — produce-posal? — pick one a little better-suited to the task. In fact, make picking the produce part of the proposal! This will work best if you have a garden, but a good old-fashioned farmers market will do the trick too. Pick something like a carrot, turnip or beet, whose leaves will thread through a ring without stripping off. You can trim it a little to help the ring through. If it’s still in the ground, ask your significant other to pick it for you. When they notice the ring, let the show begin. If it’s already been picked, ask them to hand it to you while you’re cooking. Boom, built-in engagement dinner. Full disclosure: I proposed to my fiancé in this way, having stolen the idea from a gardening enthusiast friend. It worked, and then we had a surprisingly sexy beet salad.

Photo: mrharoldandson
Photo: mrharoldandson

Buy A Ring That Looks Like A Sparkly Avocado

Is your special friend one of the few people on earth who looks good in lime — or in this case, avocado — green? Pick up a pear-shaped peridot. Also works well for special friends who really love pears, kiwis or Ecto-Cooler.

They look and taste just like fried calamari, but these delectable crispy ringlets are actually hearts of palm!

Forget the ring altogether — it’s probably a blood diamond, anyway

COOK the engagement ring! What are you, made of money? Engagement onion rings, dried pineapple rings, calamari (also comes in vegan), Burger King chicken rings, mini donuts — any ring-shaped food will get the message across, circumvent potential supply chain cruelty AND provide a post-engagement snack for two.