Chances are, you’ve heard of a delicious new club drug hitting party cities all over the world. It’s chocolate, it’s inhaled through one’s nose, and yes, snorting chocolate will definitely get you high. What kind of high, you ask? Portland’s Willamette Week rolled up a hundred-dollar bill to find out.
First, the science behind the high: raw cacao, which chocolate is derived from, contains endorphins and a kind of dopamine called tyrosine. Get a concentrated amount of those two chemicals in your system as quickly as possible, and reap the benefits of euphoria, an energy boost and increased mental clarity. Snorting something delivers its chemicals swiftly to your brain and bloodstream, which is why folks are snorting these powdered chocolate products. Why not inject them? Because that would make you a literal chocoholic, and also probably kill you.
Snorting chocolate is a little out of the ordinary, and possibly unwise, but that didn’t prevent writer Matthew Korfhage from penning a thorough review of an extra-caffeinated variety called Coco Loko (hear him out!)
“It’s been ground into a pleasingly soft, fine dust whose mild discomfort comes only after the snort — a mix of viscous, chocolate cake-y post-nasal drip and the world’s least-offensive brown boogers.” Gross, yet interesting! He goes on to and describe how the sensation compares to snorting Pixie Sticks — again, a well-researched piece — and his overall assessment of the whole thing.
Approached this way, inhalable chocolate doesn’t sound as dangerous as critics make it out to be; however, it’s not actually the chocolate itself they’re railing against. They know that would make them look like evil robots. Vocal opponent NY Senator Chuck Schumer referred to these new products as “cocaine on training wheels,” which is hard to argue with, given that New York City alone consumes more than 16 tons of the illegal drug each year.
Still, dedicated chocolate fans probably view this curious dessert/drug as the holy grail of sugar rushes, so don’t expect it to go the way of the “original” Four Loko.