Heinz stands accused of violating innocent Chicagoans’ culinary rights by tricking them into putting ketchup on their hot dogs. If you know the Chicago dog (and you definitely should) you know it’s got a lot of stuff on it. None of that stuff is ketchup, as a strict rule, unless you’ve still got training wheels on your bike or are pregnant and literally need ketchup. Those rules seem pretty arbitrary yet reasonable to us, which is just how we like our food rules. But Heinz decided that this time, no didn’t really mean no.
Some of the images you’re about to see may shock and appall you, or if you’re like us, make you crave a hot dog with ketchup on it. And mustard too — relax, we’re not savages.