8 Kinds Of Beer For 8 Kinds Of Guys

Oct 3, 2013 3:00 pm

Discover your beer identity, then drink to it!

There were 8 kinds of beer in this stock image. We drank the other 2.
There were 8 kinds of beer in this stock image. We drank the other 2.
 

So, you’re getting into craft beer, are you? You’ve come to the right place! When it comes to beer, there’s literally something for everyone. The flavors are endless, from bitter and sweet to sour and rustic to everything between. The only downside is, all these flavors can be overwhelming and confusing. A trip to your local craft beer store might yield hundreds, if not thousands, of options. If you’re looking for a certain brew to fit your personality, we present 8 types of beers for 8 types of guys. Drink a cold one to your new beer identity.

The Hipster: Sixpoint Brewery — Sweet Action
Sorry hipsters, but PBR is played out and you should be over it by now. Sure, it’s easy drinking and it’s not as bad as other popular American Adjunct Lagers, but why sacrifice taste just cause you need a throwback? Try a Sweet Action from Sixpoint Brewery in Red Hook, Brooklyn. This cream ale has a ton of flavor and comes in “hip” 16-ounce cans with great minimalistic design. Perfect for listening to your favorite drone metal (Sunn O))) Rules!) album.

The Bro: Oskar Blues Brewery — Dale’s Pale Ale
The bro may have been weaned on Bud, Miller and Coors (BMC) but there are plenty of great crossover beers just waiting for them. Oskar Blues out of Colorado has made the transition easy with Dale’s Pale Ale – and it even comes in a can with artwork of the Rocky Mountains! While this may make it resemble another popular local brew, these mountains won’t turn blue when the beer is ready to drink, so don’t waste your time waiting. If it’s cold, this fantastic American Pale Ale is good to go. It’s got a dynamic hop flavor and is balanced expertly with malt sweetness. It’s also got a much more manly kick of 6.5% ABV, so don’t try to play pong with this….or go right ahead and Instagram us the results. #frbeernap

The Athlete: Evil Twin Brewing — Bikini Beer
Active guys like to drink beer, too! Whether you’re training for a triathlon or just hitting the gym, the truth is that consuming heavy beer regularly can prevent you from getting the results you want. Believe it or not, you can find an IPA that’s light and tasty, too! Try Evil Twin’s Bikini Beer, just 2.7%, and an estimated 81 calories, meaning you can have a few of these and not feel guilty the next morning.

The Dad: Boston Beer Company — Samuel Adams Boston Lager
Dads trust other guys, especially historical guys. While the real Samuel Adams didn’t brew, he was one of the most important Bostonians in history. Remember the Declaration of Independence? Boston Beer Company’s version of Samuel Adams has helped many people make the crossover to craft beer with their reliable caramel lager — a perfect go-to for just about any meal or occasion. If you want to drink like a real dad, drink like a founding father.

The Woodsman: Founders Brewing Company — Backwoods Bastard
Flannel shirt? Check. Bearded face? Check. But this isn’t a hipster; this guy’s the real deal who eats bark for breakfast and smokes a pipe he carved himself out of the same redwood with which he built his cabin. This guy needs a beer with hair on its chest. Well, Paul Bunyan, Founders Backwoods Bastard is the rustic ale of your dreams. This scotch ale clocks in at a not-screwing-around 10.2% ABV with huge flavor from time spent in bourbon barrels.

The Hedge Fund Manager: Brouwerij Bosteels — DeuS Brut des Flandres
If you like bubbly, DeuS Brut des Flandres from Brouwerij Bosteels in Belgium is definitely the brew for you. Literally called Bière de Champagne, it’s highly carbonated and 11.5%, so imagine champagne with the characteristics of Belgian yeast. DeuS is a luxury product, clocking in at about $40 per 750ml bottle, but it’s perfect for a special occasion or just a typical night out, if that’s how you do typical nights out, you baller.

The Hippie: Lagunitas — Waldo’s Special Ale
Hops are a close cousin of cannabis, hence the similar “skunked” aroma when beer is exposed to light. If you like your beer with a similar dankness, look no further than a West Coast IPA for those sticky icky flavors you roll with. Lagunitas’ Waldo’s Special Ale is a hugely dank and piney IPA released on 4/20, which will satisfy those who want their drink to taste like their smoke.

The Metalhead: Three Floyds Brewing Company — Zombie Dust
Try to name a brewery more hardcore than Three Floyds (we bet you can’t!). After collaborating on beers with metal legends Pig Destroyer and Amon Amarth, this is undoubtedly the definitive metal brewery. While their imperial stout, Dark Lord, is among the most hardcore offerings in the world, it’s only available one day a year, so why not seek it out and let that citrus hop bomb Zombie Dust shred you a new one? Time to rev up the Harley and get to Indiana for a road trip to this beast of a brewery.

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