With the long-awaited/dreaded entertaining at home season nipping at our heels, it's time for a cheese platter refresher course. How do you make one of those again? You should be good sticking to these handy tips until you get your cheese legs back (mmm, cheese legs). But Slate brings up a good point: doesn't brie on a cheese plate kind of suck? It…oh my goodness, it does. Brie on a cheese platter does kind of suck. Let's explore this well before the guests arrive.
The brie you're buying by the pre-cut wedge at the supermarket isn't worth the $4, let's all agree on that. Should that make it into your cheese arrangement, you are doing yourself and your crowd a great disservice. It will probably be consumed anyway because hey, suck as it may, everyone seems to go for the brie, mangling bland, waxy cheese around its truly flavorless, lame rind that would be delicious were it only REAL.
The fact is, however, that true brie, nay, Brie, is packed with bacteria from raw milk, which is outlawed in the United States but which provides the heavenly combination of flavor and texture that won it the title of "Cheese of Kings." There are ways around this problem, but wouldn't you rather not wrestle the brie problem to the ground and perhaps serve a lovely wine-washed goat cheese that is certainly the real deal?
Make the 2013 holiday season the one you remember for not plunking the ubiquitous, entirely unoffensive and yet so very offensive brie on the plate. It's entirely complete without it.
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