When you were little, chances are you saw Fred Flintstone's car tipping over with a giant rack of Brontosaurus ribs or good ol' Fred and Barney grilling up a dino steak the size of a suitcase. Those, good friends, are Flintstone steaks, and their legacy is alive and well in the form of gargantuan cuts that can be found at some of Los Angeles' best steakhouses.
More is more when you're dealing with beef, so why settle for a measly 12-ounce snack when you can crank your meat stereo all the way to 30 and beyond? Here are seven steaks that push past the two-pound mark. Fred Flintstone is certainly smiling down on us from that pre-historic bowling alley in the sky.
Nick & Stef's
330 S Hope St #100, 213-680-0330
Steak: The Tomahawk Steak for 2
Size: 32 ounces (bone-in)
When this baby is wheeled up to the table and carved right in front of you, it's hard not to shed a tear. Not in some tribute to bovine sacrifice, but in anticipation of the joy you're about to consume. Nick & Stef's does many things right, but perhaps their most important accomplishment is knowing how to cook a steak to a perfect medium-rare. The Tomahawk made its first appearance on the menu in early July, and it's hard not to think of it as a tribute to the independence of this great nation. That means that if you want to pick up that bone and eat it like a lollipop, you go right ahead. It's your patriotic duty.
6610 Melrose Ave, 323-297-1133
Steak: Bistecca Fiorentina
Size: 42 ounces
The Nancy Silverton/Mario Batali Mozza Industrial Complex has expanded once again with chi Spacca, a restaurant within a restaurant (er, catering space) that serves as a showcase for Chef Chad Colby's considerable skills in the ways of meat. The Bistecca Fiorentina is a tribute to Italian butcher Dario Cecchini, a friend of the restaurant, best known for serving beautifully unadorned slabs of beef in Chianti. It's a wood-grilled T-bone, served simply and sliced for everyone at your table to enjoy. Be prepared to spend some time on your appetizer, though, because the sheer size of this beast means you're waiting the better part of an hour for it to even reach an edible rare.
246 N Canon Dr, 310-888-8782
Steak: Double-cut Porterhouse (for 2)
Size: 48 ounces
At 24 ounces per person, this still qualifies as a hefty entrant into the Flintstones steak category, but taking the whole thing on its own reveals a steak the size of a small baby — not that I'm Swifting you into eating babies. On Mastro's superheated plates, you can order it rare and then cook it to order right in front of your very eyes. Pair it with a Manhattan, creamed spinach and some of their can't-miss pretzel bread and you've got yourself a meal fit for a king. An obese, very hungry king.
246 N Canon Dr, 310-888-8782
Steak: “Chef's Cut” Ribeye Chop
Size: 33 ounces
Mastro's claims that their three-pound porterhouse is for two, but they don't say a word about how many people this 33-ounce beauty serves. At $63, it's a total steal compared to the $55 bone-in rib eye that's a mere 22 ounces. This thing is so big that you can order it for yourself, eat a full pound of the edges and then carve out the middle section and sell it on Craigslist as a brand-new steak. Perhaps that's why they say that this steak is money, baby.
9500 Wilshire Blvd, 310-276-8500
Steak: American Wagyu Porterhouse
Size: 34 ounces (for two)
As the most expensive steak per ounce on this list, the two-pound-plus behemoth has a lot to live up to. Luckily, it outperforms even the most liberal of expectations. Like a trust fund baby, it comes from incredible auspices: Snake River Farms in Idaho, home to some of the best meat in the country. It also happens to be American Wagyu, which means that it's rife with fatty marbling that guarantees a melt-in-your-mouth experience that M&Ms would die to replicate. At $95 per person (without your cardiologist co-pay), this steak fits in extremely well with the Beverly Hills crowd whose company it keeps.
Lala's Argentine Grill
7229 Melrose Ave, 323-934-6838 and 11935 Ventura Blvd, 818-623-4477
Steak: Tabla de Carnes
Size: 29 ounces
Tabla de Carnes translates to “table of meats,” and with three different cuts on one magical plate, it's not a far-off description. Certified Angus skirt steak, flat iron steak, and center-cut filet mignon add up to almost 30 ounces of moo and to top it all off, you even get to pick two sides. This is another option that comes with a recommended serving size (it's for 2-3 people), but who needs friends when you've got steak prepared by Argentinians?
100 N La Cienega Blvd, 310-652-2827
Steak: The Beef Bowl Cut
Size: 24 ounces
At less than two pounds, the Beef Bowl cut of prime rib barely belongs on this list. That said, it's one of the more visually impressive options, as shown in the above photo. Sliced from a gleaming silver cart by a dude wearing medals, it's hard to beat the experience of seeing the major mound of meat hit the table. It's a ridiculous sight and one you'll be enjoying until your stomach hits the panic button from beef overload. As an added bonus, the prime rib comes with mashed potatoes and Yorkshire pudding, so you can really feel what it's like to be a glutton's glutton.
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