Revealed: Cap'n Crunch Is A Fraud

Oh, Cap'n Crunch. Stealing the hearts of sugar-crazed children everywhere, while frustrating millions of parents in the process. At least we can all take solace in the fact that the cereal's mascot is a proud veteran, having rightfully earned his stripes in the United States Navy. Or can we?

From Foodbeast comes the shocking revelation that our beloved Captain is technically a Commander. The three gold stripes on the cartoon character's wrists reveal his position of Commander – one rank lower than each box of the sweetened breakfast advertises. It appears that our man never actually attained the rank of Captain during his service time. And yes, the company does officially list him as a sea captain (even claiming his full name is Horatio Magellan Crunch).

So, there you have it. Cap'n, erm, Commander Crunch has been deceiving us for years. Before you know it, we'll discover that the Trix Bunny has been happily snacking on Trix the whole time.

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