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If you’re preparing to cook Thanksgiving you’re in one of three schools of thought right now. 1. I can do this, I’ve been following Food Republic’s practice Thanksgiving guides. 2. I might be able to do this, how hard could it be? 3. I’m f*cking freaking out right now, guys. How long does it take a turkey to thaw? For those of you in the third school of thought, please remove your birds from your freezers six hours ago and place them in an appropriate thawing environment. 

Here are some more important components of tomorrow night’s dinner, in order of most to least relevent, in step-by-step format. Hey, you never know when you’ll need to freshen your Old-Fashioned. It’s beautiful stuff. 

Now it’s a party.