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I’ve found myself on the soft drink beat this week and it’s been draining just trying to keep up. Yesterday we reported that Coca-Cola has begun a campaign to educate consumers about burning off calories through strenuous activities. Remember kids: Badminton and salsa dancing will help you shed the pounds. 

Not to be outdone, Pepsi has immediately fired back with its own health-conscious marketing. Get this: Based on research conducted on rats, the company has concluded that its new Japanese product, Pepsi Special, actually prevents the digestive system from absorbing fat. The drink is designated as a “food for specified health uses,” meaning that it is regulated by the Japanese government and has its seal of approval. Go figure.

And Pepsi isn’t done. Just when you thought that soda news couldn’t get any weirder, the company has announced the launch of limited edition cans featuring the visage of legendary Spanish chef Ferran Adrià. He is one of six of “the world’s brightest minds” being honored with his very own limited-edition can. You can win one by answering a riddle via Twitter.

So, there you have your week’s soft drink roundup. Iron some clothes today to burn off that Coke, lose some weight by chugging even more soda and put your thinking cap on to make a Tweeting run at an aluminum can with a printed face. It’s going to be a productive day.