20 Ways To Sext Your Favorite Foodie
Jun 7, 2012 1:01 pm
DOAPF you <#){
By
Everyone is still trying to sort out this new era of digital communication we live in. When is it okay to text someone, versus calling? Is a Facebook message the same as an email? What exactly is a “letter” and why do we still have a U.S. Postal Service? There's one topic in particular that seems to get a lot of media attention from everyone from politicians to scare-centric nightly news shows and that's sexting.
I'm fairly lost when it comes to sexting. I don't know where to start. I don't know where to stop! It usually comes out as “u r pretty” then devolves into “we sex now?” Clearly, I have the sophistication of Sloth from Goonies. I kept wishing somebody would just devise a unified system of sexting for us food dudes to text to our food-loving ladies. But wishing doesn't get you laid. So, as a service to all, I've put together a dictionary of food sexting terms.
|
SEXT |
MEANING |
|
WCS!BHS |
Whipped cream sale! Be home soon. |
|
CMTK |
Call me Thomas Keller. |
|
r<3isUSDACO |
Our love is USDA Certified Organic. |
|
{((())) |
Sexy eggplant. |
|
I<3u > 100BRGRS |
I love you more than a hundred burgers. |
|
LPCB&PD |
Let's play Chef Boyardee and Paula Deen. |
|
TFSK! |
Time for seductive kale! |
|
ILPR&U... NITO |
I love prime rib and you... not in that order. |
|
(*)> |
Sexy chicken. |
|
R42IMB? |
Reservation for two in my bed? |
|
<3&*** |
Love and scallops. |
|
SOAC |
Sex on a cake. |
|
U=HTS |
You're hotter than sriracha. |
|
IW2SVU |
I want to sous vide you. |
|
u+me = :@) & xxx 2nite |
Let's get pulled pork and have sex tonight. |
|
DOAPF |
Down on all petit fours. |
|
<#){ |
Sexy strawberry. |
|
IWUBBF |
I want you brined, breaded and fried. |
|
&xxx |
Pretzel sex. |
|
SWIRR43S? |
Should we invite Rachael Ray for a threesome? |
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