On Groundhog's Day, Groundhog For Lunch?

Feb 2, 2012 11:31 am

Phil saw his shadow = more winter. The bastard.

groundhog day 2012
Photo: Mark F. Levisay on Flickr
This groundhog was sculpted entirely from ground hog; however, the whiskers are indeed spaghetti.
 

I know what you're thinking. Food Republic wants me to eat Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog for lunch? They want me to go out there, hunt that little winter-extending bastard down and instantly summon PETA's wrath by taking the thing down with a .270? That said and done, they want me to gut, skin and braise the magical powers right out of him, serving the results with potatoes? You're not thinking that, you say? Good, cause I was talking about pork and never want you to experience PETA's wrath. Geez, you make one off-color Whale Wars joke on Twitter and all of a sudden...

Anyway, my stomach for game meat has its limitations. So rather than suggest a bunch of ways to do away with, cook and incorporate actual groundhog into your lunch today, I'm going to pretend that ground hog, better known as ground pork, is enough to pay homage to that baby lettuce thief's whole day he gets to celebrate himself. (Jerk). The most obvious example of which you can see in the above photo. Idea #1: sculpt a groundhog using only ground hog.

Idea #2: Make Pennsylvania Dutch-style baked beans.

Idea #3: Braise another small furry animal and tell everyone it's groundhog. 

Idea #4: Make a Food Republic recipe featuring deep-fried ground hog and try not to think about oversized rodents and the prolonged cold weather they singlehandedly bring about (go chuck wood, you glorified rat). Here are my favorites:

Pork always makes me feel less spiteful. 

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