After a first day of highs and thrills during my Organic Avenue cleanse, what follows is the log of the second day of my all-juice adventure. Things don’t start off well.
6:06 AM — I wake up from a dream in which I am hungry. The problem with waking up from such a dream is that it’s hard to tell whether or not I am actually hungry, or if I’m still dreaming. I feel slightly crazed, angry that I am hungry, and unsure of the day ahead of me. So much for ridding myself of toxins; aren’t fear and anger toxic? I immediately appreciate the mantra that Organic Avenue sent to me the night before, tell me I should repeat it: “this too shall pass.” I had thought it a strangely negative way to approach a cleanse, but now I get it.
7:15 AM — I bring my older kid to the school bus, and realize that I am no longer hungry. What a relief. It did pass, after all.
8:39 AM — Wheatgrass shot: I didn’t expect it to be so sweet. It’s fantastic. Only by the fourth sip do I realize that it’s burning my throat, but I don’t mind; at this point, I welcome anything that goes down my throat. The burning eventually goes away, and I’m really digging this stuff. Organic Avenue informs me that the “chlorophyll molecule in wheatgrass is almost identical to the haemoglobin molecule in human blood.” So, what, I’m like drinking blood? Does that put me on Team Edward?
10:12 AM — More coconut water. Fine. It’s fine. I’m fine. My ability to concentrate on work is ok. I was way too edgy to work last night, but I’m feeling more settled now. I’m writing this journal, aren’t I?
11:45 AM— This puts a whole new spin on the concept of a liquid lunch: I have grapefruit juice, which I have always loved. And this fresh-squeezed stuff blows my Tropicana juice away. But it’s making me sweat a little under the eyes, and I’ve always taken that to be a sign of me catching a cold. Organic Avenue did warn of potential flu-like symptoms. Is this a good thing?
12:49 PM — I’m hungry.
1:25 PM — The hunger passes. It’s come and gone since last night. I’ve had maybe four spells of hunger so far. I’m not sure what prompts it.
1:33 PM —“Yeah, that’s what I am talking about. Let’s pump it up!” That’s a real quote, said by me, upon drinking the Turmeric Tonic, a concoction that includes water, ginger, coconut sugar, turmeric, cayenne and black pepper. This is the wake-up call I was hoping for. It hits me like a shot. The burning in my throat, the almost tearing of the eyes; bring it on! More important, it makes me feel good, clear, healthy and strong. Better than coffee. “Whoop, whoop,” I say, pumping my fists in the air. Yes, it makes me say and do stupid shit like that.
2:58 PM — I head to the gym. I want to see if this cleanse is making me weaker or stronger. I do my regular workout — twenty minutes on the elliptical, pushups and sit-ups. I can’t say there’s a noticeable difference one way or the other, although I do try some crazy fast Tasmanian Devil bursts on the elliptical for a few minutes. I’m pleased I can maintain them, but I must look like an ass.
4:12 PM — Mellow Love is just that: a fairly innocuous, smooth drink made from celery, spinach, cucumber, romaine, and parsley. It’s inoffensive. It’s worth noting here that I’m a semi-vegetarian in my regular life so these sorts of drinks may not be the radical new tastes they’d be for all you cow-killers out there.
4:45 PM — I’ve noticed there’s a fetishistic quality to how I handle the solid, thick glass 16-ounce bottles. I guess that’s bound to happen to anything one becomes so dependent on. I hold the glass, and find myself fingering it like a rosary.
6:35 PM — Carrot juice. Ho-hum. It’s good enough. But I am realizing that this is my witching hour, when hunger hits me. I do feel hungry. I want to eat something more substantial. I’m looking forward to 36 hours from now. What fatty fried thing will I be eating for breakfast?
8:11 PM — Cashew hemp drink! When I saw the ingredients, I was looking forward to it, and it does not disappoint. It has a rich nuttiness that is substantial. It relieves me of my hunger, thank goodness.
10:14 PM — Uh, oh. I’m starting to feel hunger creep up on me. I better go to sleep before it overtakes me. Talking about hunger is a slippery slope: there’s no way I’d compare my hunger to someone truly in need of food. What’s more relevant is that I am confronted with impulse control. When I have impulses — the need for a drink or a bag of cheese doodles, or the fix of checking my Twitter feed — I am constantly indulging in something that makes me feel better, but doesn’t necessarily make me better. During this cleanse, I’ve had to deal with not being able to satisfy some of my most basic urges. It’s an excellent exercise, putting things in perspective. Like, when I looked at some cans of soup in my pantry, I was at first hungry for it, but then it struck at how weird it is to have food in a can. It just seemed so…fundamentally bizarre. Food sloshing around inside metal. So divorced from nature. Am I making sense? Or am I tripping?
Check back Monday for the results of Day 3, and see how Tom did on Day 1.
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