Remember peanut butter’s wandering eye? That unbridled wanderlust that caused it to walk out on jelly after years of closeted infidelity? (Don’t worry, jelly’s fine). I realize this saga gets more dramatic every time I bring it up, but that’s simply the nature of the beast. Gossip is risky business.
Anyway, the grapes on that sneaky vine of slander literally up and told me that the rock-solid marriage of macaroni and cheese has a crazy little indulgence of its own. Occasionally, when they’re bored, they’ll invite a guest into the casserole dish. Ground rules are key here.
Not allowed (because they’ve already done it and it’s getting a little comfy):
- Ground beef
- Buffalo chicken
- Batter or bread crumbs with intention to deep-fry
- Green chile
- Cauliflower purée
Allowed (because keeping it fresh is the name of the game):
- Collard or mustard greens
- Green apples
- Batter with intention to make mac ‘n cheese pancakes (à la Shopsin)
And the safety word, of course: butter. You don’t want things getting out of hand. That’s how the three-martini lunch fell out of favor.