The Ultimate Farmers Market Pick-Up Lines

Jul 28, 2011 1:01 pm

Dating advice that's always in season

zucchini
Photo: Ed Yourdon on Flickr
[Insert zucchini pick-up line here]: How to work the farmers market...
 
Jason Kessler
Your Heart Attack columnist says, "Post questions and your own pick-up lines in the comments."
 

Let’s face it: no matter where you live, meeting people is hard. You can only do the bar thing so many times before you want to stab yourself with a cocktail straw. That’s why you need to get creative. Skip the book store (if those even still exist); pass on the “singles mixer” with your desperate friend; and, whatever you do, SAY NO TO SPEED DATING. Your best option is finding a place where there’s common ground between you and your prospective sweetheart. That’s why, if you’re looking for a girl that shares your love of food, there’s no better place to find her than at the farmers’ market.

Once you’re there, though, how do you get Ms. Heirloom Tomato to notice you? In this situation, like any other, the pick-up line is vital. Here are some suggestions for the Ultimate Farmers’ Market Pick-Up Line:

“You must be a sustainably farmed mushroom because you’re really growing on me.”

“Don’t you just love stone fruit?”

“There are over six hundred varieties of heirloom tomatoes, but there’s only one of me.”

“You put the hot in hothouse… cucumbers. Too much? Sorry. Maybe we should make out.”

“I think grapes are very sensual.”

“Looks like you’re buying meat. Cool.”

“Did you know that kale is not an aphrodisiac?”

“Let’s pick up some artisanal breads and make a baby.”

“I’m a man at a farmers market. Of course I’m a catch.”

“Our love would be 100% organic.”

On second thought, many of these pick-up lines are terrible. Feel free to use any of them as my unhelpful gift to you.  Just be careful. The art of the farmers market pick-up line is hard to master and easy to mess up. One main rule: You may never use vegetables as a reference to your naughty bits. No zucchini jokes, no pepper references, and absolutely nothing relating to squash.

Got any farmers’ market pick-up lines of your own? I want to hear about them in the comments.

Good luck out there, gentlemen.


More dating advice from Heart Attack, only on Food Republic:

About Us | Advertise With Us | Contact Us | RSS | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
© 2013 Food Republic. All rights reserved.